Learning to Take Myself Seriously (fighting creative self-doubt)

This blog post is a bit of self-therapy. I’m laying bare a part of myself that’s been quietly running the show for a long time: the voice of creative self-doubt. It's the voice that questions my worth, my skills, and whether I even deserve to call myself an artist.

It’s a deeply rooted issue, grown from a long history of experiences, offhand comments, and internalised beliefs.

Jay Bird Author holding up a book with an look that expresses creative self-doubt. She thought this book was ridiculous. It ended up by being many readers' favourite.

The Early Messages That Shaped My Confidence

When I was young, I wrote plays. They were fun and entertaining, but looking back, they were also clever for someone my age. People laughed, and I got used to being the “ditzy creative” who brought a smile.

Over time, that identity stuck. I heard things like “airhead” from siblings. And some of the most important people in my life made it clear that the arts were just “airy-fairy nonsense.”

That was the seed of self-doubt as a creative, and over the years, it bloomed.

The Moment That Nearly Made Me Quit

In my first year of music at university, I had a pivotal moment - the kind that leaves a scar.

I was called into the Dean’s office and accused of cheating on my composition assignment. They didn’t believe the work was mine. They assumed my then-boyfriend (a very talented musician) had written it for me. When I protested, they said they didn't believe I had the skills to write what I did. They failed me and I didn't put up a fight. I didn't know how.

I was 17. And I was crushed.

I dropped out and swapped into teaching the following year - quietly carrying the belief that I wasn’t good enough. Because even when I did something well, I didn’t deserve the credit.

It was my first real taste of imposter syndrome in the arts, and it worked its way deep into my confidence.

Learning to Trust My Creative Voice

As I start to share my Read-Easy books for schools, those old whispers creep back in:

• You’re not professional enough.

• You don’t have the credentials.

• This isn’t real success.

But then… I see how much students love my work. I watch their faces light up when they read it. I have had several schools place reorders. Kids engage. That is real impact. It's helping me mutter those affirmations louder - and to believe that my aspirations are legitimate and possible and to work toward banishing creative self-doubt.

How I’m Pushing Through Creative Self-Doubt

I guess, I just have to continue to visualise success and turn the negative self-talk off. It's ongoing and I'm sure there are many people engaged in this daily battle with self.

This is a mantra I'm making myself say:

• My work is helping people.

• I do have something of value to share

• I am a real writer.

  
  

Deep down, I hope to reach that place of quiet confidence. Maybe by the time I hit 50? I've definitely needed my 30's and 40's to reshape the expectations I've placed on myself.

Thanks for reading my therapy session about creative self-doubt. If you’ve ever struggled with taking yourself seriously as a creative, you’re not alone. If you battle with self-doubt as a write or artist, I'd love to hear your story. Please drop a comment below.